I only met Carol once, when I
had traveled to California for some 'Respite'. Carol was a wonderful
support and contributor to our "Madmamas" online group....we all had
children from orphanages in Eastern Europe, Russia and China, and most of
us had children with challenges of one sort or another. Carol was part of
our group as she worked diligently, tirelessly and without wavering to
adopt her three girls from Russia. It was a joy to be part of the journey
with Dennis, Jonathan and Carol as they made their dream come true. Also,
being part of the sadness with the discovery of FASD and the difficulties
that ensued.
Carol was a fireball at times,
but she loved to play 'devil's advocate' and she surely made us all look
at all sides and facets of an issue or problem. My heartfelt sympathies
goes out to her family and pray that thy will find solace in each other
and in God's presence.
donna sill
My deepest sympathy to
Carols family and friends. She helped me in more ways then one. She saved
my life numerous of times. She was there for me for 1 year or so. She gave
me the confidence to survive through passings in my family, relationship
break ups, and my abusive family situation. She never met me although she
said she mentioned me to her coworkers from what she told me. She was
sympathetic to me yet stern. She always seemed to make me laugh. We talked
for hours at a time until she knew I was safe. I'll never forget her and
her memory will always remain within me.
God Bless you carol may you rest in
peace in the hands of the Lord.
Kristen Harris
Greenwich CT
I am saddened by
the loss of Carol. I didn't personally know her, but I enjoyed
reading her contributions to various listserves. I learned quite a
bit from her, and always thought that it would be nice to know her
personally. I know her passing is a huge loss for her family and for
the adoption community.
I extend my
heartfelt sympathy to her family. You are all in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Lori Lammers
Though I did not know Carol I would like to send Carol's family our
blessings in thanks for the important contribution she made in our world.
Our condolences.
Susan Fleisher
Executive
Director
NOFAS-United
Kingdom
London, England
I am so terribly sorry for you loss. Carol
was a wonderful person with compassion for others and a world of
knowledge. She has always been kind and understanding about our situation
with our son who has FAE. I'm going to miss her sincerity in helping
others learn more about FAS and how to prevent it.
Sincerely, Tab
Thank You Carol
for your kindness in sharing your knowledge on FAS.
You did not know
me, or many others, that were in the process of or adopting
Internationally from countries like Russia where alcohol is used by many
expectant Mothers. There was lots of apprehension and fears of
adopting a child with FAS. We were searching for information on what to
expect if we adopted a child we learned to have FAS> Do we abandoned our
child from Russia with a possible FAS diagnoses?? Well thank you for
sharing with us the long term positive side of raising a child with FAS
and also for the reality of knowing what we would be confronted with. We
were able to reach a comfort level in the challenge of parenting a child
with this condition and we are the very proud parents of 2 beautiful
children that have FAS related difficulties but are wonderful children. It
is through your kindness of sharing this information with us that we were
able to handle difficult situations and solutions. You will be truly
missed but it was with great honor to have you on our Russian adoption
group and I say Thank YOU~. Rest in Peace~ God Bless You and Keep You
Close~~ Many Prayers for your Family to help them through your loss.
Cheryl Costa, the
Most Proudest of being a Mom to 2 Beautiful Children from Russia**
I learned
the other day that a wonderful member of our community has left us to
accomplish even great things from afar.
Carol and
I connected some time ago around our common bonds of children with RAD and
FASD and through the CALFAS network.
In June of
last year, when our son, Christopher died at the hands of another, Carol
was there to offer comfort and support and to use her agency to get the
message out about how vulnerable our kids really are.
She was a
non-stop worker, tirelessly advocating for all of us.
She will
be dearly missed.
The Surbey
family extends our gratitude to Carol's family for the major part she
played in getting Christopher's memory out and for the shoulder that this
mom needed many, many times.
Val Surbey
Dear Echternach Family,
I
just wanted to take a few moments to remember this warm, caring,
compassionate and vibrant spirit, Carol. I never met her face to face,
but I corresponded with her and shared "instant messages" with her many
many times.
I must have "met" Carol on another of the many support lists in
which I participate, because I remember her wisdom and compassion and
validation--well before she asked me several times to join her RAD_FASD
list. I was reluctant to join at first, because I was already so
inundated with email. However I am glad I did, because this became one of
my favorite "places". The group not only has experience and
understanding, compassion, support, and validation--it also has warmth and
humor, yes silliness has a place here too. For if we cannot laugh we
cannot heal.
I
am thankful to have encountered Carol, to have shared an online friendship
with this kind and remarkable person. Her pictures show a smile that
blazes like sunshine... and I will never forget that smile.
love, gail (ciao)
I knew
Carol only from the online support group for RAD-FASD children. She was so
supportive and knew how to say the right thing to everyone. She had such
great knowledge about our children’s problems and what we were dealing
with as parents. I’m saddened by her loss and will always remember her
through her words.
Carol
J Rose
I never
met Carol personally, but she was always there for me as well as
everyone
else in the RAD-FASD group. In times of need, grief and struggles,
she always
took that extra time to make sure we were ok.
She really
loved her family and spoke of them often.
My brother
(who had FASD) was murdered 3 years ago, so I understand the pain
of losing
a loved one so suddenly.
The only
people that understand were those in the FASD group. And
that's all
thanks to Carol.
It's also
thanks to her family, who were supportive of her.
I'm not
very good with words when it comes to the pain that you must be
feeling.
But I hope
that my words in some way will offer some comfort.
I've been
thinking of your family every day.
Elaine
Thomas (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada)
To
Carol's
Family,
Carol
was an exceptionally warm & caring person. I first "met"
Carol on the Russian Yahoo group. We had just found out that
my son had FAS.
Carol was right there with answers, suggestions,
and support. Later I joined her FAS RAD group. Always,
Carol
was there, just a click away, as we were to her. She would make
me laugh when I needed to, almost as if I could see her smile at
her computer. She was so informative, and supportive all the
time. If
I ever had a question, she knew the answer. She was also
so proud of you...her family. She loved you dearly. May God
Bless you in Sympathy.
Sherrie
Dear Carol, we last spoke about a week before your death, when i heard you
had passed, the pain in brought was as great as when i suffered the loss
of Jim last September. When Jim died you became my pillar of strength,
you held me up and helped me go on for the boys, you did all you could and
more getting the groups to rally to help me and the boys. I met you 4
years ago,, you took me under your wing,, laughed with me , cried with me,
we spoke of personal things as if we had known each other all of our
lives. I will keep those in to my heart always, I knew your ups and downs
and you knew mine, can i say more than as friend i loved yah, and I know
the great respect that so many had for you, but you were the closest thing
i had to a sister, and I will miss you for the rest of my life,, God must
have needed another angel in heaven so he chose to take you home,...to the
family i say, may God give you comfort and Peace, May his light and love
shine down on you at this moment and always as you go forth in your
future, Lana,, you and i spoke several times, take comfort if you will
dear that your Mother loved you so very much, as she did your sisters and
brothers,, wanting only good things for you and happiness. To the rest of
the family I dont need to tell you how much she loved and cared for you
all, Im sorry for your loss ,
Blessings,, Benita K. Bylicki-Marzion,
aka Mennonite Mama,,
A
Memorybook
for Carol Echternach