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Journeys: Amber
| Traci
 Amber's Journey
While sitting in a
training being taught by Dr Susan Doctor the reality that just adopting
our sons with PAE (Prenatal Alcohol Exposure) was not going to "heal"
them sank in. I was going to have learn to be an "external brain!"
I remember crying thinking how I knew there was alcohol exposure
but somehow a good loving nurturing home would make them "normal".
Leaving the class that day, I realized our sons were "brain damaged"
and I had been parenting them as just "unruly children."
I now needed a new plan
to make their lives successful, to learn all I could about there
disability. I guess at that point
I was still in shock that my sons may never reach their potential
because of brain damage. Thinking I couldn't do what they needed to be
successful individuals, may never live without assistance, may have a
shorter life span because of bad life choices.
I was terrified!
I came home and shared
with my husband Dan and my parents that we were all going to have to a
devise a new plan, all be on the same page to help our sons grow.
While I was talking my dad realized he "may have what the
boys have." Then reflecting
on some of his history, some of his oddities and learning disabilities
made sense. I had grown up being an external brain, just not realized
it. I was a little more prepared
than I had thought.
Recently my mom was
diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and now I know why I have always said,
"when I get my parents raised I don't know what I'll do with my
life"! They are a
great support for Dan and I, they think more like the boys so they can
help come up with strategies that fit better for us all.
I,
learning all this, have tried to do all I can to educate myself, my
family and my community. Dan and
I have been foster parenting in Sutter County for 12 years mainly with
medically fragile, special needs infants and toddlers.
We have adopted six children, all with special needs.
I have always loved children and the unique way they can bless a
life. We continue to do foster
care and I enjoy working with birth families.
I am the 0-3 parent
representative for Tri-Counties Steering Committee providing services
for children with special needs, Board Member of the Sutter Youth
Organization and Sutter Buttes Day Chairperson. Active Member, Vice
President Elect and Trainer of the Yuba Sutter Foster Adoptive Parent
Association. I have been invited to be a guest speaker for Sierra
Adoptions pre-service classes on "Special Need Infants."
The County of Sutter
has generously provided for me to go to the NACAC conference the past
few years where I have learned a wealth of information. I've been
fortunate to sit in on two SAMSHA, Substance Abuse and Mental Health
Services Administration Town Hall Meetings, listening to
testimonies of families and individuals affected by FASD.
My greatest teachers
are my children who are always amazing me with their disability and how
they learn to live with them. I appreciate my friends who take the time
to listen, my family who are my greatest supporters, and my husband Dan
who's shoulders to lean and cry on, giving me the opportunity to focus
so much on our children and his pep talks that let me know "we've
made it this far" allow me to go on.
I
feel I am a truly blessed woman and I thank God daily for allowing me
the awesome task of being "mommy" to these special children
and the friends we have made along the way who only know too well when a
new gray hair pops out I earned it!
Amber Kesterson
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